Is it possible to genuinely love and miss someone that you’ve never met?
This is a question I’ve had to toss around for many years as I continue to process the death of my brother four years before I was born. It’s the question that challenges my definition of love and how I think about life. But I’ve landed on an answer, though I still get a bit confused about the “how” of it.
My answer is yes. Most certainly, definitely, and absolutely.
There’s just no other way about it. I love my brother, even though I don’t know him and I don’t know what kind of person he would have grown up to be. I don’t know if I would have gotten along with him, I don’t know if he would be a good person, I don’t know what he would like or dislike, but none of that matters. I love the child whom my mother and father love, and I miss the relationship I could have had with my brother, no matter what that could have looked like.
I’ve come to the conclusion that love isn’t dictated by what makes sense, or even by time or space. And I think that’s changed how I love people. I want to love people fiercely because I don’t know how long I’ll have the honour to keep them. I want to show my affection to those I love so they always know that I love them. I want to love people even when it’s difficult because people are worth it and gosh darn it love doesn’t always have to be reasonable.
I’m so thankful for the love of my family and the precious people around me who support me and allow me to support them in times of trouble. It’s difficult to express just how much they mean to me. The words just don’t exist.
Remember to tell someone that you love them today, no matter the circumstance and no matter the distance.